I Have Never … Been Anonymous by Jeremy Patton

 I have never… been anonymous

I have a shower almost every day

Part of the ritual that marks my morning

I wash the night and the smells away

But this morning it came with a dreadful dawning

I have never had sex with a stranger.

Never “hooked up” on a one night stand

Never copped off with one of the band

Never had a go after a scone with cream and jam

With someone I didn’t know. 

Never drank till off my head

I awoke next day in an unfamiliar bed.

In truth I don’t like sex any less than any other man

It’s always been a part, the heart, the apex of the plan,

But I’ve never had sex with a stranger.

It’s not that I’m a little bit prudish

Or rule-bound, hide-bound,  Or even egg-bound 

I’ve always liked to be a little bit rudish 

But even in my youth I hardly slept around 

And I never had sex with a stranger. 

And, it is true, and rather lamentable

While I’ve had sex in beds, cars, forests and on the kitchen table

In every room in a dozen houses

I’ve crept inside skirts and knickers and silken blouses

In one area I’ve always been tame, or do I mean lame?

I won’t make love without knowing her name

So I’ve never had sex with a stranger. 

I’m not proud of my versatility

I’m Positively ashamed of my infidelity

Horrified by every lie I’ve told

Embarrassed by times I’ve been too bold

Under-delivered, over sold

But I’ve always been keen

Always generous, warm, and never cold

But I’ve never had sex with a stranger

But it’s not just your name that matters,

Even with a life in tatters, I always gave you me,

You needed to know who I was.

Without you, and me, there could be no us

But once we were lovers, and locked in the red hot heart of our love,  we were alive,

We could be anonymous.