Lord Haw Haw. A fictitious, tongue in cheek, story by Charles Roberts

          Germany calling.  Germany calling.

          So England now stands alone in the great big world, she has no friends anymore to help her out, all she has is someone who smokes a big cigar and drinks copious quantities of alcohol every day.  She is a damsel in distress in a sea of trouble and words cannot pull her out, cannot stop her from sinking into the abyss.  The only way is for her to look to the future and see that there is hope on the horizon, to ignore her leaders and come to the people who are offering her a life raft.  A life raft of hope and freedom from your politicians who only care about themselves.

          We are ready and willing to save you brave England, to free you from the tyranny you are under.  We, the people of Germany can set you free.  Rise up and put the self-serving ones in Westminster down.  Only we can help you to do this, there is no one else.  Europe is in tatters and cannot come to your aid, the United States don’t want to get involved in your struggles and would rather see you drowned in the sea rather than throw you a life belt or rope, that is what they call the American way, the American dream; to see England slip beneath the waves of impoverishment rather than throw a rope of safety.

          Yes England it is only we; the great nation state of Germany who can now save you from the sea of despair you now find yourselves in.  Throw down this Churchill who spouts the empty words of war and join with us, the freedom loving people of Germany.  This Churchill who says that he will fight them on the beaches, in the valleys, and in the hills, what will he fight us with?  You have no army, it is lost in France.  You have no navy, we have a far superior navy which can defeat you in a single battle on the high seas.

          Our Luftwaffe will see to your pathetic Royal Air Force who still fly bi-planes with inadequate armament and poorly trained pilots, they will be defeated with a week when our brave Luftwaffe pilots take them on and blow them from the skies.  The ships you thought were coming from your oppressed colonies and carrying supplies and troops lie at the bottom of the oceans sunk by our glorious submarines and battleships.  There will be no help coming from Australia, New Zealand, or India.  Canada is blockaded and cannot send you any aid. 

You are truly on your own England, join us while you can, we are the only ones who can help you now.  Ignore the alcohol soaked politicians and reach out to the German people and we will take your hand and lead you to freedom, the true freedom only we in Germany can give to you.  I wish you a pleasant and safe goodnight, sleep well.

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