The Princess. A Play by Charles Stott

Scene.            A soup kitchen somewhere in London.

Cast.               Princess.       A tramp between twenty six and thirty.

                        Old man.       A tramp, indeterminate age but about fifty.

                                                ----------------------

            Opens.  Old man sat at table.

                                                ---------------------

Man   Where is she?  She’s late; we agreed that we’d always meet on a Friday in this kitchen.  I wonder if she’s alright.  I hope nothing’s happened to her, she’s not usually this late, I know that it’s a woman’s prerogative to be late but this is getting daft.  I did hear that the snatchers were out and about again, I hope she has the sense to keep her head down and keep out of their way, mind they’ll track you down if they want you they have the ways and means, then you’ll wake up in north Africa or the middle east or somewhere being sold into slavery.  It’s almost as if there’s one of us giving them the nod as to where a girl is, or boy for that matter.  She’s avoided them before and been safe, but you never know, some folks will sell the shirt off their back for a couple of quid and a good night’s sleep.  Hell I’d do the same but not to her, no not to her.  What am I saying?  I’m not dragging myself down to their level, but life on the streets ain’t easy these days, it’s getting harder by the day what with all the homeless people.  We’re all in the same boat and fighting for the same park bench.  But there is one thing and that’s the food is getting better, seems to be more of it and better quality, keeps you going through the day now.  She did go missing last May didn’t she?  Turned up in October looking well fed and happy after she’d been squatting in that big house in the country, she might have gone back there again, but it’s too early to move out of town, still too cold out there.  Another month maybe.  (Looking round)  Here she is, and smiling too.

            (Enter Princess carrying a tray. She sits at table opposite man.  He half stands and touches his forelock)

Man   Hello Princess, I haven’t seen you for a week or two.

P          Good evening Sir Lawrence, you always remember my most famous role.  Why do you always call me Princess?

Man   First time I seen you, I thought there’s a real Princess, true royalty she is.  There’s a song about that ain’t there?  “Princess in rags” that’s the one, now who sung it?

P          I have never heard of it I’m sure, but the first role I played was a Princess; it was in the school play.  I must have been five or six.  That’s when I decided that I had to go on stage.

Man   Gene Pitney, that’s it.

P          Never heard of her, what else did she sing.

Man   She was a he.  Must have been in the seventies, or maybe even the sixties, before your time anyway.

P          Well before my time, as you say.

Man   I bet you looked a right little Princess an all.  Drove all the young lads wild.

P          I wouldn’t know about that, but I did have my name up in lights for a short time anyway.

Man   So where have you been, if you don’t mind my asking?  I haven’t seen you down the crypt lately.

P          When, today or since I saw you last?  The crypt is for the riff raff.  I’m surprised you still go there; didn’t someone try to stab you with a knife last year?

Man   Nice to know that I’m riff raff now.  They did but it was them who lost out wasn’t it.  They were fished out of the Thames a few weeks later, and no, before you ask, I had nothing to do with it.  No since you were here last.

P          I’m not pointing any fingers.  Well I have been spending time round the west end and Mayfair if you must know.

Man   Down to posh end eh!  Went down there once, got arrested for walking down Park Lane, and spent a night in a police cell, mind they did feed me while I was there.  Yes a police bed is better than a park bench any day.  Get a better class of throw out do you?  Down that way?  Where you been sleeping then?

P          I can’t see that it’s any of your business but I’m sleeping in the park.

Man   I tried the park once.  I was escorted out, well thrown out if the truth be told.  Serves me right for picking a park bench in front of the park keeper’s cottage.

P          That will never happen to me.  You know the rose bed with the huge weeping willow?

Man   I know it.

P          Well I go under that, the grass is so lush it reminds me of the beds in the Paris Hilton, so soft and welcoming.

Man   Yeh I bet she is.

P          The Hilton Hotel in Paris, not her.

Man   It’ll be better in the summer when it has all its leaves on.  Talking about summer, have you got a place lined up for the summer then?

P          As a matter of fact I have a little place in the country to go to where I’ll be safe.

Man   Oh yeah!  It’s not that big house who’s wall that you climbed over?  The one whose kitchen window just happened to have been left open?  And the bloke didn’t press charges when he got home is it?

P          That’s the one yes.  He said that I was better that a Rottweiler.

Man   Not much difference is there.  You want to watch it girl, you could find yourself in a lot of trouble.

P          I don’t think so.  He is charming and gentle.  He also said that he would find a part for me in his next production.

Man   What’s that, the Hound of the Baskervilles?

P          Very droll.  I don’t know, I’ll just have wait and see won’t I.

Man   Just be careful, you could end up with more than you bargained for.

P          Stop acting like a prude.  This is the twenty first century.

Man   And that’ll keep you out of harm’s way or stop someone doing you in will it?

P          That will not happen while I am in his care.

Man   Oh it won’t won’t it.  Look it can happen at any time.  What if you get burgled when you’re staying there?

P          He has the latest alarms fitted.

Man   Didn’t do him much good last year did they?  You just walked straight in.

P          He’s had them fitted because of me.  I showed him the weak spots in his alarm system.

Man   So how are you going to get in this time if he has the latest alarms fitted the front door?

P          Yes!  I will walk up to the front door and straight into the house.

Man   You got yourself a key then?

P          I won’t need a key; Gregory is picking me up and taking me out to the house when he gets back from America next week.

Man   Gregory!  That’s his name is it, Gregory?

P          Yes, and he is a lovely man.

Man   That’s what they all thought of Dr Crippen ain’t it?

P          Who?  Nothing is going to happen while I’m in Gregory’s care.

Man   Stop burying your head in the sand and look at life.  You’re on the streets, you’re young.  It can happen anytime, just remember the snatchers are out there.

P          Don’t!  Just the thought of them scares the life out of me.  But I won’t be on the streets will I?  Not when I’m under his protection.

Man   Oh yeh!  What does he get out of it then?  Tell me that girl?

P          He gets someone living in his house while he’s away.

Man   I bet he’s getting more than that.

P          I can assure you he is not.  I live in his house. He knows all is safe.

Man   All except you that is.

            (She jumps up.  Hands on table)

P          You’re just a dirty minded old man.

Man   Sit down, folks are looking at you.  I have your safety at heart that’s all.  Here, are you on drugs again?

P          No I’m not.  I’ve been off them for three years now as you well know.

Man   How am I supposed to know?  I don’t go round holding your hand all day long do I?  Just make sure you stay off them, that’s all.

P          You sound like my mum.  And what’s with the sudden interest in my safety?

Man   It’s not sudden is it?  Who was it that went into that alleyway and stopped you from being raped by those three geezers, and got the shit kicked out of him to boot and spent two weeks in hospital for his troubles?  Who got you to the hospital when you were sat in a pool of blood down Hammersmith after you’d been kicked in the belly?  Who showed you where to get the best meals and hand-outs when you first came to London?  I’ve had your safety at heart forever girl.

P          (Hanging her head in shame) I know who it was and I’m grateful, but I am old enough to look after myself. (Looking up)

Man   You’re on the streets now girl, it’s a jungle out there.  You might think that you’re old enough but you’re not.  You look older than you are but that’s just the drugs ain’t it?

            (She sits)

P          When I’m with Gregory I’ll be safe, I know I will.

Man   How will you know?  What’s he going to do, put you in porn films is he?

P          Certainly not.  Gregory is a gentleman.

Man   That’s the worst sort.  He’s after you for one thing girl, and when he’s had enough of it you’ll be back down here with us or six foot under.

P          He wouldn’t do that.  He’s not interested in my body; it’s my mind he wants.

Man   Not interested in your body my arse.  Every man is interested in a woman’s body unless!!  He’s not gay is he?

P          Oh please don’t tell me that you’re a homophobic bigot now?

Man   No I’m not!  Each to their own sort of speak.

P          Does being gay mean that he’s any less of a man than you are?

Man   Course not!  Here he hasn’t that gay disease has he?

P          Scared to say AIDS are we?

Man   Keep your bleeding voice down girl.  You don’t want to be saying that in here.  Bleeding hell you’ll get us both thrown out.

P          After this weekend I won’t be frequenting this sordid little place again.  Ever.

Man   You haven’t answered my question yet.  Is he…….. Has he…… You know, got it?

P          If you mean is he HIV positive, the answer is yes.

Man   Keep your bleeding voice down will you.  Have you had sex with him?

P          How dare you!  That is my business not yours.  But seeing as he is gay, as I have already said.  The answer is no.

Man   Alright I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to pry into your private life.

P          The hell you didn’t.

Man   I’ve only your best interests at heart.  You going Monday are you?

P          He is collecting me one day next week.

Man   Collecting you?  Sounds like he’s going to put you on display or in a cage or something.  How do you know when and where to meet him?

P          I have to be at a certain place at a certain time and he’ll be there.

Man   He’s conned you he has.  You think that he’ll turn up and all will be rosy but it won’t.  I’ll bet he has no intention of being there.  You’ll be left in the lurch you will.

P          That is where you are so wrong because that is the reason why I was late this evening.  I met with his partner and we discussed the best place for Gregory to meet me.

Man   Where’s that then?

P          As though I would be stupid enough to tell you.

Man   What do you think that I could do to stop you?  I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him.

P          You’re not me, are you?

Man   If I was, I’d be safe at home with me mum and dad.

P          My father left just before I was born.  Mum never talked about him.  I think that he just got what he wanted and when I was on the way couldn’t stand the competition.

Man   That’s what you think is it?  Maybe he had to go off.  Maybe something happened to make him leave.

P          What on earth could have happened for him to leave so suddenly?

Man   Maybe he was in the forces and he went to serve abroad and got killed.

 P         Mum would have been proud if something like that occurred.

Man   Or he could have done something bad and got himself locked up.  She wouldn’t want you knowing about that now would she?  God fearing woman like that.

P          How do you know my mother’s a church goer?

Man   It’s that necklace you wear with the cross on it.  She give it to you or did you nick it?

P          She said that he gave it to her the day he went away.  She told me to keep it always.

Man   So you have.  You’re not a bad lot really are you?  You want to keep that hidden away; folks have had their throats cut for less.  Have you been in touch with her lately?

P          Not for a month or two.  She knows that I’m alright though.

Man   How does she know you’re alright?  Two months on the street is a lifetime for some.  You promise me that you’ll write to her soon, she could be worried sick if it’s been a couple of months.

P          I’ll do it when I get to Gregory’s.

Man   If you get to there you mean.

P          I’ll get there.  I told you the arrangements have been made.  All I have to do is be there at the correct time.  I am not telling you where or when though.

Man   What would I do?  What could I do to stop you?

P          I’m sure you’d think of something.

Man   I only want you to be happy and safe.  You said that he was going to put you in his next production.  What does he do then?

P          He’s a director with the theatre, but he also writes plays.  That’s why he’s in America at the moment; some film studio wants to make a film of one of his plays.

Man   So you’ll be in the films would you?

P          I could be, but just to be back on stage would be nice.

Man   How long is it since you were on the stage?

P          Too long.  I went on professionally when I was sixteen; but I started acting when I was six.  You might say that I was a child prodigy.  Mum thought that I was too young, but put me through RADA anyway.  I was good, friends I’d made at acting school did a play and went on the dole, but parts just kept coming for me.  I had to get a manager as I couldn’t keep on top of all the bookings and as far as I knew the money was building up in the bank.  Then someone introduced me to drugs and I was on the slippery slope into oblivion.  My manager and so called friend emptied my bank accounts and I was on the streets.  So it must have been ten years, out of my mind on drugs for six years, and wandering the country, then I met you and you picked me up, dusted me down and forced me to give up the drugs.  God I hated you so much, it took you a year but between us we beat them.  That was three years ago now.  Thank you.  Now Gregory wants me to go back on stage, restart my life.

Man   Restart your carrier you mean?

P          I have high hopes.

Man   Shame I can’t afford to go and see what you’re in.  You used to be good.

P          You think so?  I’m surprised you saw anything I was in.  I doubt that you’ll enjoy anything that I’m going to be in.

Man   So I’m just an ignorant, dirty minded old man am I?

P          No of course not.  It’s just that I don’t see you enjoying a production based on the classics that’s all.

Man   I still don’t like the idea of you going off with that Gregory, alone out there in the country.

P          Gregory is a wonderful man.

Man   How do you know that he’s not just trying it on with you?

P          The trouble with you is that you’re just an interfering old man.

Man   Who has your best interests at heart?

P          My best interests.  That’s a laugh.  I’ve had enough of you, I’m going.  Don’t try to follow or try looking for me.  Keep out of my life.

            (She stands again)

Man   Alright!  Alright! (He grabs her arm)  Look sit down and finish your meal.  You can’t spend a night in the park with a stomach full of nothing.

P          As long as you keep off the subject of Gregory.

(She sits)

Man   I will but it might come up again.

P          It had better not.

Man   I take it that you’re in the park tonight.  Under your tree.

P          Of course I am.  Why do you want me?

Man   None of that now.  I’m old enough to be your father.  If I wanted that I’d go see Nelly.

P          Oh yes!  Nelly.  She’ll do you a quickie for a meal then strip out your pockets and you’ll be visiting the clinic for months.

Man   She’s not like that.  Well not with me anyway.

P          And just what makes you so special?

Man   She owes me.

P          In what way does she owe you?

Man   Never you mind.  She just owes me that’s all you need to know.

P          The plot thickens, keeping secrets are we?

Man   I saved her life once.  Alright?

P          Alright.  Where will you spend the night?  The crypt?

Man   No not there.  It’s too hot this time of year.  I’ll find a doorway somewhere.

P          And get moved on.

Man   Or under the arches.  If you pick the right one you can be safe.

P          People are robbed down there or worse, I’ve heard of people being killed.

Man   It sounds as though you care about me.

P          In a strange way I do.  You’re the only man I’ve known who hasn’t wanted me for my body.  Well, you and Gregory.

Man   How’s the food?

P          It’ll keep me alive for a while longer.

Man   I know what you mean, tastes bloody awful but it fills you up.  Do you want that bread?

P          You can have it.  I think it’s stale anyway.

Man   The soups yesterdays but it fills you up and keeps you going.

P          I only have to put up with it until Wednesday.

Man   Is that when he’s picking you up then?

P          It might be, but don’t you dare follow me.

Man   I won’t.  You can run faster than me anyway.

P          When I’m back on the stage, I’ll come and look for you.

Man   You’d be wasting your time girl.  I’m not worth looking for.

P          You’ve helped me so much that I have to pay you back somehow.

Man   You can pay me back by staying out of trouble and getting your name on those posters down the west end.

P          You really think that I can do it don’t you?

Man   I’ve got faith in you lass.  You’ve been through so much you deserve some good luck.

P          So do you old man and if I can help you in any way then I will.

Man   When you’re rich and famous.  But I’ve had all my luck.  I’m a bad lot.

P          That’s something you’ve never talked about is it?  You know everything about me but whenever I ask about you.  Subject changed.

Man   Unwritten rule isn’t it.  You’re too trusting you are, it’s a wonder you’re still alive.  You don’t ask how a man or a woman for that matter, ended up on the streets.  If they offer to tell you then that’s different.  All you need to know is that I’m a bad lot.

P          How can someone as kind as you be a bad lot?  Have you ever been married?

Man   Once!  A long time ago.  Loved her so much.  Do anything for her I would and did.  I gave her everything I could, which wasn’t very much but I did my best.

P          Did you have any children?

Man   Now who’s prying?  We had a kid but I never saw it.  I did a stupid thing.  Ended up locked away.  She wanted to visit but I told her to divorce me and start a new life.

P          And did she?

Man   No!  She said she’d be true to me no matter what.  She came to the prison a few times but I told them that I didn’t want to see her.  Ashamed see of what I’d done and put her through.  She kept writing and putting photos of our kid in so that I could see it growing up, but I didn’t reply.  Then they stopped.  I thought that she’d found someone else.

P          Did she divorce you?

Man   Every week I expected the papers but they never came.

P          So you’re still married?

Man   I suppose that I am.  With a kid who doesn’t know me from Adam.

P          Similar to me.  Just think you could be my father.

Man   You’re much too pretty for that.

P          Well you’ve not seen her except in photographs.

Man   Who said it was a her?

P          I just thought by the way you were talking. 

Man   Well don’t just think.  I haven’t said and I won’t say.

P          Why don’t you go home to your wife and child?

Man   Don’t really know, shame I reckon.  I don’t know if she still lives at the same address.

P          Well if you don’t go you won’t find out will you?  And if they’ve moved then you can find that out from the town hall.

Man   Who’s giving who advice now?  If you’re finished I’ll walk with you as far as the park.

P          There’s no need.  I can find my own way.

Man   I want to make sure you’re safe, that’s all.

P          I’ll be safe, after all what can happen between here and the park?

Man   A lot.  Come on I’ll walk you.

P          There’s no need.  I’m a big girl and stop trying to father me.

Man   I’m not trying to father you.  I am trying to keep you safe though.

P          You know, I tell you everything about myself but you’re a closed book.

Man   Better that way isn’t it?  If I told you then!  Well I’m not telling, as I said I’m a bad lot and that’s all you need to know.

P          Mum always said that dad had a tattoo on his right hand, I notice that you always wear a glove on that hand.

Man   So did Michael Jackson.  That means nothing.

P          If it means nothing why wear it?  What are you covering up?

Man   I have a bad burn on it that’s all.  I was sick of folks staring at it.

P          Could I have a look?

Man   I’m not going to be responsible for you bringing your dinner back up.

P          Well I have to go before they close the park gates.

Man   Are you sure you’ll be alright?  Have you enough to keep yourself warm and dry?

P          (Standing) Stop sounding like my mum.  I am not your child, so leave me alone you dirty old man.  Get your own life; you’ve nothing to do with me.  So stop trying to be something you’re not.

Man   And what’s that?

P          My father.

Man   Sit down and finish your food, and stop being so tetchy.

P          Alright!  Just stop trying to father me.

            (She sits)

Man   That could be difficult because I’ve come to look on you as sort of family.  After all you’re the closest I have to one.

P          You have a wife and child though.

Man   I might still have a wife but I haven’t seen her in god knows how long.  As for the kid.  Well all I’ve seen are pictures and the last one was ten years ago

P          What’s she like?

Man   Who?

P          Your girl?

Man   Who said it was a girl?  I’ve told you before.  I’m not saying what sex it is.

P          Alright!  Alright!  Don’t lose it with me.  You know I’ve looked upon you as part of my family.  The way you’ve protected me these last four years.

Man   So long as you remember that I’m not.  You’re a good kid you are.  I only hope that when you’re with this Gregory you’ll be happy.

P          I’ll come and find you.  Even if I have to turn this town inside out and upside down.  I promise that I’ll find you and give you all the help you need.

Man   No!!  You’ll forget about me, and that’ll be for the best ‘cause I’m a bad lot.  You’d best be going if you’re sleeping in the park, or you’ll have to climb over the gates.

P          Yes I will. (She stands and goes round behind him and kisses him on the top of his head)  Bye old man, and thank you for being a good friend.

Man   Careful you don’t catch anything, kissing me there.  Get going, and don’t forget to write to your mum.

P          I won’t.

            (She exits)

Man   You do that girl; you look so much like her you could be sisters.  You remind me of her when she was young, when we were young.  What would life have been like if????  Aye!  Life’s all ifs and buts isn’t it?  I wonder if she’ll have me back?  I won’t find out by sitting here will I?  And what will you say girlie when you find out that I’m your dad?  I wish I could have told you how proud I am of you.  Under all that muck you’re a real man killer you are and a right nice girl to boot.  Well I suppose that I should get myself cleaned up a bit and go see if your mum will have me back.  That’s if she hasn’t moved, if she has then I don’t know what I’ll do, I’ll have to find a job as well.  I refuse to be a kept man, I’ll earn my keep if it kills me, mind the journey back home might just do that, it’s going to take me at least a month, possibly more and these boots won’t last out.  Which shelter can I get some new boots from I wonder?  Come on then John, stir your stumps and get yourself moving.  Lizzie here I come.  After thirty years I’m going home, god it’s going to be strange, living in a house again.

            (He exits)

 

                                                            CURTAIN.