Uncle Beastly’s Nonsense Poems for Children

 

Uncle Beastly’s

Nonsense Poems for Children

Last night I swam the channel

I did it on a horse

I know that isn’t logical

It was just a dream of course.

 

Last week I fought an Octopus

whilst munching on a snack

“Come on” he said “I’ll fight you now

with one arm behind my back”.

 

Last Saturday I played for Wales 

and scored the winning try

which isn’t easy on a bike

while eating a minced pie.

 

Thought I’ll build a garden shed, 

I can do that standing on my head

but when I tried to put the roof on

I fell out of bed.

I wish I was a Polar Bear

rolling in the snow

sliding round the Arctic wastes

white from head to toe.

I’d paddle in the ice cold sea

go swimming with the Seals,

I’d chase the Fish

my favorite dish

and be naughty as can be,

and I wouldn’t care if

all that ice cold water

made me do a wee.

I’d like to see Australia

meet Ned Kelly and his gang,

wander round the outback

and throw a boomerang.

Explore its native species

Of Wombats and Koalas

Dingos and Crocodiles too

and sit beside a billabong

chatting with a Roo,

my worry is we’d all fall off

‘cos Australia’s upside down.