Friends by Pugh R. Whimsey

 

‘Friends’

 

“Holmes… oh do put that confounded fiddle down Holmes, this letter’s just been delivered for you.”

“By a woman in a long black dress I venture Watson… white pinafore… hair rolled neatly into a bun too, if I’m not badly mistaken.”

“By Jove Holmes how the devil did you determine that?”

“Watson my dear fellow, that is how Mrs Hudson habitually dresses.”

“Ah… no Holmes, this came hand delivered, by handsome cab.”

“At last Watson… as I suspected… the game is afoot. The envelope script is Copper Plate, yet, by an unmistakably oriental hand - My Samurai letter opener Watson – yes, a note in the Japanese Haiku style, three lines, five syllables in the first, seven in the second and five in the third:

 

Be warned Sherlock Holmes

When a fifth letter arrives

We shall meet once more

 

Signed… a Friend.”

 

“Good God Holmes!”

“Calm yourself Watson.”

“Holmes how can you say that, stop scraping that wretched violin and take this seriously. Who could have sent it?”

“My dear Watson, that, I should have thought was obvious. Who do we know who has recently been at work in Japan and would like us to know he is back?”

“Holmes, you can’t mean…?”

“Who else Watson. I’ve been expecting something like this for several days.”

“Then Holmes, shouldn’t we inform Inspector Lestrade?”

“For what Watson? We must just wait and see. Meanwhile, a small tincture if you’d be so kind, enough for me to contemplatively resolve the outcome of this intrigue. Have Mrs Hudson rouse me when the final letter arrives.”

 

“Oh Mr Holmes I’m so glad you’re back amongst us, your mail is on the table, but one letter has been delivered by hand every day, the last one just a few minutes ago; a very surly man, wouldn’t give a name, just thrust them at me.”

“It’s alright Mrs Hudson, I know about those letters. Watson, let us see what these latest missives have to offer.”

“Of course Holmes… this one… is marked ‘Second’:

 

The clock is ticking

Your Doctor will be no help

What are you missing

Can’t see that helps us Holmes. This one is marked ‘Third’:

 

One letter matters

Is it first, second or third

And what of the fourth?

 

Confounds me Holmes… the next… is the Fifth… Great heavens Holmes, the fourth letter’s missing… we have the original, the second, third… and a fifth, but the fourth’s missing!”

“And Watson, what does the fifth say?”

“Err…

 

This now is the fifth

Have you worked it out yet

Are you thinking clear?

 

“Gibberish Holmes, I can’t make head or tail of it.”

“It’s elementary my dear Watson… a letter missing… it’s a lexicological joke.”

“Joke Holmes?”

“Watson, what was the signature on the original letter?”

“Err, let me see… it’s signed… ‘a friend’.”

“Exactly, and what happens to ‘friend’ when one letter is missing…?”

“I don’t follow you Holmes.”

“Remove the ‘r’ from ‘Friend’ Watson and what are you left with…?

“‘Fiend’! Great heavens Holmes… Moriarty!”

 

If you have been, thanks for reading.

And if it has amused you, do please tell your friends.