Elementary,............. written by Vic Davey

 Dr Watson pressed the doorbell to 221B Baker Street. The door was opened and he was ushered inside by the Housekeeper, Mrs Hudson. "Ee's in his office," she said. "But he 'asn't been himself for a few days," she added, sadly. " Not read a single newspaper he 'asnt". 

Watson strode across the hallway and knocked at the study door and entered. Sherlock Holmes was seated in a large, leather, winged armchair on one side of a huge fireplace. "Watson," he said as the Dr approached him, waving him to the matching armchair opposite. "Tell me, what do you have for me today?" 

" I have a proposal, Holmes," he began. " This last case was very hard on you...on us...You put away one of your more notorious enemies after an exhausting few months chase. Inspector Lastrade was, again, not amused." 

Holmes picked up his briar piped and knocked it out on the grate before lighting it.

"We need a Holiday," Watson continued.

"Really, and what do you propose?" replied Holmes through a wreath of smoke which hung in the air between them.

"Camping! I hear it's all the rage. Escape from the City, countryside, fresh air, peace and quiet. Summer is upon us. What do you say?" He asked, leaning forward expectantly. 

Holmes said nothing for several minutes, then, through another cloud smoke said, "Capital, Watson! Yes, Capital!...organise it will you?!" 

"Oh, er yes, of course", was the startled reply, a little miffed that it was all down to him again........

So, two weeks later, there they were lying side by side on their bunk beds in the middle of a large field. 

Holmes was lying on his back, unlit pipe in mouth staring upwards. 

"Watson, are you awake?" Nudging the Dr who was lying on his side snoring. 

"Watson!" 

"Ah..hrmff..what? Hremm...well I am now," he replied irritably, turning over.

" Look up there, tell me what you see" 

Rubbing his eyes, Watson replied. "Well, I can see the stars." 

"Yes, but what does it mean?", Holmes asked.

"Well, Astronomically speaking we see the Milky Way, containing billions of stars and planets just like our own. Astrologically speaking I can see Virgo just rising in Sagittarius", he continued.

'Meteriologically speaking, I can tell that tomorrow will start bright but with some cloud in the afternoon and Horologically, it is just after 3.25 am. Why, Holmes, what does it mean to you?" 

Holmes removed his pipe and said," It means, my dear Watson, that someone has stolen the f.....g tent!"