Julia- a short story by Vic Davey

 

I proposed to Julia Roberts. But for goodness sake, keep it to yourself, if word gets out there'll be a media circus. Anyway, she was in London promoting a new film and she was staying in the Dorchester. I happened to be there too and that was when we met. 

I was walking down this corridor towards Reception, the Americans call it the Lobby. She came out right  in front me, out of the Ladies loo. I knew who she was straight away of course but the embarrassing thing was  she'd caught the back of her skirt in her underwear and didn't know. It's funny the things which go through your mind  at times and I remember thinking her knickers were more TK Maxx than Rodeo Drive if you know what I mean. 

Well I couldn't let her walk through the hotel like that, so I caught up with her and touched her on the shoulder and said, "Miss Roberts, you have something of a wardrobe malfunction," nodding at her skirt. She looked at me like she had trodden in something, obviously thinking I was just another star struck fan looking for a selfie. I nodded behind her again and then she looked down....

"Oh my God," she said, hastily rearranging her skirt. She turned to look at me with those stunning hazel eyes and smiled that smile which has lit up thousands of Cinemas across the World and sent mens' pulses racing. "Thank you so much, "she said, quietly, her face full of embarrassment. "Can you imagine what would have happened if you'd not stopped me?"

"My pleasure," I replied. "I mean, you're welcome" I said hurridley, realizing that she might have thought my pleasure was having a view of her underwear. She looked at me for a moment and said," Are you busy right now?" 

I shook my head," No, not especially"

"Would you like to have breakfast with me, as my guest, to thank you for saving my blushes, and probably a whole lot more?" She smiled again and I swear the lights in the corridor dimmed a little. 

To say I was taken aback was an understatement but not so taken aback to say no. "Well, if you are sure, yes, I'd love to".

With that, she slid her arm through mine and we made our way to the Dining Room. 

We were shown to a table and I swear every head in the room turned in our direction as we picked our way through the tables and were seated. A murmer went around the room. I could picture the headlines now, "Hollywood star spotted having breakfast with someone other than her husband. Did they spend the night together? Who is the new guy in Julia Robert's life".....

She could see my discomfort. "Don't worry about it,"she said with more of a grin than a smile. "Happens all the time." 

Anyway, we ordered and spent the whole time talking, in between bites of food, which was delicious as it happened. She asked about me, my work, my life and told me about her hectic life in Hollywood and filming around the world. I was enthralled. She was promoting her latest movie with George Clooney, a comedy which she was hoping people would like. I told her I had already seen it, but lied when I said how much I had enjoyed it....it was awful! 

We finished our coffee and she glanced at her watch. "I'm sorry,"she said, regret in her voice, "I have to go, I have an interview in half an hour." We stood up and as we did, her room key card slid off the table and on to the floor. Me, being the perfect gentleman, knelt down to pick it up. Just as I handed it to her, a flashbulb went off startling us both. I looked up at her, she smiled and said,"I guess you will have to marry me now......."

"Davey, Davey are you with us!?" I shook my head and looked along the conference table at the men seated on either side, regarding me expectantly. "I take it you have the Quarterly Sales projections ready?", my boss asked somewhat cynically, glaring at me, obviously irritated by my inattention. I got to my feet, glancing down at my sheaf of papers. The heading on the first page leapt out at me. "2023 Sales Projections for J Roberts Incorporated......